Keeping connection on the calendar

Choose the kind of connection you miss

Wanting company does not always mean wanting a busy social calendar. You may miss an easy conversation, a shared interest or someone who knows the background without a long explanation. Start with the kind of contact you would value. NHS guidance recognises that loneliness is personal and can occur even around other people. There is no required number of friends or events that makes someone sufficiently connected.

Source: NHS Every Mind Matters: Dealing with loneliness

Make the invitation easy to understand

Choose one person and offer a specific, manageable possibility. An invitation can include a place or format, an approximate length and an easy way to suggest another time. Here are some suggested invitations you can adapt.

• "Would you like a short phone catch-up this weekend? Saturday afternoon works for me."
• "I am going to the local exhibition next week. Would you enjoy coming for an hour?"
• "I have not been in touch for a while and would like to hear how you are. Is there a good time to call?"

Use a format that fits both people

A walk, seated visit, phone call or shared online activity can serve different needs. Consider transport, cost, hearing, mobility and the amount of energy available. You do not have to host a meal or explain why a shorter meeting suits you. If you need to leave at a certain time, say so when arranging it. A clear limit can make the invitation easier to accept and easier to repeat.

Look for a shared activity when conversation feels hard

A group with a clear purpose can give you something to do together. NHS loneliness guidance suggests interest groups in person or online. Before joining, check what happens in a typical session, what it costs and whether newcomers can try it. You can decide how much to share. The right setting should not require buying an expensive programme or disclosing personal health information to belong.

Source: NHS Every Mind Matters: Dealing with loneliness

Make room for different responses

An unanswered message or declined invitation does not give you the whole story of a relationship. People have commitments you may not see. Offer another time if that feels appropriate, then leave room for them to respond. If a particular relationship repeatedly leaves you uncomfortable or unsupported, consider another source of connection. The purpose of planning contact is to make room for relationships you value, not to force closeness.

Use a reminder without making friendship a task score

If a catch-up goes well, ask whether both of you would like to repeat it. Agree a loose pattern or a next date, with permission to change it. Keep only the reminder you need. You do not have to track replies or measure how many social interactions happened. The NHS identifies supportive relationships as one contributor to mental wellbeing; a calendar is simply an organising tool.

Source: NHS: Five steps to mental wellbeing

Seek support if loneliness is becoming difficult to manage

If the feeling persists or affects your wellbeing, talk to someone you trust or a healthcare professional about available support. You can bring a simple description of what is missing and what you have already tried. For today, a useful step may be drafting one invitation, finding the details of a local group or deciding which form of contact feels manageable.

Source: NHS Every Mind Matters: Dealing with loneliness